Quote of the day.

Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.

<3 K.

Quote of the Day.

Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a Dad.

 

I wish I could always be there...

So tonight hasn't been too much fun for my baby sister.. :( I love her so much and I wish I could take her pain away and just make myself deal with it so she never has to experience any kind of hurt. High school is so tough on girls and especially high school relationships. She is such a strong willed person that it is so weird to even see her this upset over a boy... I don't know. I guess it's the whole older sister protection. I know I will have to deal with this more in the future, because it's only going to get harder, but it doesn't make it any easier. I want to hold her and let her cry on my shoulder, I want to erase this pain and take her away. That's it, I just want to take her away. I want for us to be somewhere no one else is and just relax, drinking some margaritas, enjoying the day with no worries, tears or fears. I just want her happy and to know that everything will be okay. 

I just want her to know I love her more than she could ever imagine and that while she hurts, I'm hurting with her and if I could.. I'd be the only one hurting.

I think this is the easiest way of telling her how I feel

I hope you know you're beautiful

I hope you know you're rare

I hope you know that love is real

& it's waiting out there

I hope you know I'm here for you

When you feel all alone

This world is rough

But I know that you're strong

& things will change

If you keep holding on

These beautiful lyrics are by the amazing Katie Farmer.


There's no better way to describe how I want her to feel.

I love you Victoria & I hope you know you're beautiful.

Epiphany!

As I am getting older and older, I have really realized a lot of things. (Things I never thought I would approve of or disapprove of.)

I recently read Eat. Pray. Love. (Thank you Katie Farmer!) and it was truly the best book I have ever read. It has humor, honesty and harmony. If that at all makes sense. She begins as a struggling woman, going through a divorce (a brutal one) but mainly just as a lost soul. However, she prevails and she is so at peace at the end of the book I really want to re-live all of her experiences... She is a liberal, yes I said it, a LIBERAL. And I absolutely LOVE her! How crazy! But what is most crazy is that book made me really open up my eyes.

So new things in my life:

1. I am now a "moderate." Meaning, I am socially liberal, but financially conservative.

2. I totally support gay marriage. (This was not just because of my new points of views, but I know so many gay people & they deserve the same "freedoms" we do. & Love is Love and if you have it, you're damn lucky.)

3. I have finally become a lot more honest about religion...

      -I need to stop lying to myself, I am in no way religious. Yes I believe in God.. But I think all religions are interesting and I think everyone basically wants to believe in some "god," but through a different point of view. And however they choose is fine, I just need to find my way first. Without people trying to pull me in a particular way.. I mean I am not an atheist or anything, I just want to find my "path to God" on my own...

4. I totally am going to start doing yoga. I need some peace in my life, I need a way to get away and I think it is the perfect way.

5. I am going to start reading again.

6. I am going to start documenting my life. (Through this, obviously.) But just so I can look back on hard times, fun times, loving times, fighting times, joyous times, etc. and just see that I made it through better on the other side.

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

"There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."

"I have good idea, for if you meet some person from different religion and he want to make argument about God. My idea is, you listen to everything this man say about God. Never argue about God with him. Best thing to say is, 'I agree with you.' Then you go home, pray what you want. This is my idea for people to have peace about religion."

— Elizabeth Gilbert

<3K

I love quotes and lyrics so prepare for a lot of these!

"What Is Success"

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.


by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Forever Young!

Cause there is no tomorrow
Just some picture perfect day
To last a whole lifetime
And it never ends
Cause all we have to do is hit rewind
So lets just stay in the moment, smoke some weed,
Drink some wine,
Reminisce, talk some shit, forever young is in your mind
Leave a mark that can’t erase neither space nor time
So when the director yells cut,
I’ll be fine,
I’m forever young...

<3

For Victoria. GO USA!

Decisions...

So, I'm a blogger now. Who would have thought? But I'm not using this as a second by second update of my life for everyone to see, this is simply a way for my close family and friends to keep up with the many decisions I will be making these next few years. Which trust me will be abundant.


As an update about schools, we are still trying to decide between Utah, Tech and Oklahoma. But to be honest, Utah and Tech are the main schools that matter to me. OU is far too expensive, though it is closest to my baby sister and parents; I just feel we would not get the most out of it. However, OU is a BEAUTIFUL school and the Sooners are amazing at just about everything they do, but that's not enough to attend. Utah is fantastic; it is the most breathtakingly beautiful place in America. (I would say planet, but I am a beach girl, forever, but it's top ten for me.) It is the best career move too. Steven and I would be financially stable for years if we went there, which would mean our kids would be kept well and (as you all know) my number one goal in life is to be a good mother and for my kids to have the best father (which Steven will be.) So it is an obvious number one. Plus, who wouldn't want to live twenty minutes from three amazing ski resorts, a few hours’ drive from amazing lakes and HELLO SUNDANCE! However, it will be so hard for me going away from my loving family, but Victoria has been more than supportive which shows me how mature she is, she is truly my best friend in the entire world and I love her so much. (You're lucky if you have met her smartass, crazy, beautiful self!) My mom has always supported me though I know it's hard for her to imagine me being a plane ride away instead of a drive, but I know she will be fine, plus I PROMISE to come back to good ol' WF every 6 weeks, like I do already. Besides she has Danny and Torie and Danny has become so supportive of my family and he is a great father figure, so I love him for that. Plus he is a great man and I'm glad my mom and Vic have him there with them. He is my dad in my eyes.

STILL: No decision has been made, I love Tech and Utah. We're still trying to get out final plans figured out. It will be the toughest decision of my life.


But off of that deep subject, Victoria is here in Lubbock for the weekend and I could not be happier. I just wish M & D were here too, and then I'd have the most important people in my life all with me. But it is still fantastic.



I'm very lucky to have such an amazing family, a great couple of best friends and the best boyfriend to help me with this crazy time in my life.


I plan on updating this as often as possible, so until then, have a great week and watch the World Cup! The US has no chance, but we can fake it! :)


<3 K.